“Your guardian angels want you to know how much they love you right now. Your angel’s love is completely unconditional and all encompassing” (Virtue p. 23).
My week started off very rough with bad news concerning my maternal grandmother. Grandma became, as I grew into a woman, a cherished friend who accepted and loved me unconditionally. The doctor shared with us that she has leukemia and her prognosis is not good. The past five years I have lost relative after relative to cancer or illness.
My faith in God is tested right now to its limit. The Guardian Angel card that I drew for the weekly reflection feels especially important to me. It will resonate with any of you out there struggling or needing comfort. We all experience moments where we may feel abandoned by God.
He promises: “Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy.” (Psalm 126:5)
One way God keeps his promise is to grant us aid through his angels. They are there to assist us and reassure us that we are never alone. We are granted grace, so nothing we say or do will break our spiritual bond to our Creator. They are sent by him to support us in our spiritual growth and how we can be of service to others.
Wishing all of you comfort and sending you much love,
God winks at us,
Keeping inside joke to himself,
It’s unexpected answer,
To my earliest prayer,
You spiral towards me,
Who are you really?
Perhaps you awakening…
Don’t see your heart’s power,
You rattle my bones,
When I gaze into your eyes,
Sense of home,
Terrifying and so real,
Last night I lie awake in my bed with my mind wandering to thoughts of how women reject their appearance. We are taught by the media from an early age that beauty fits into narrow constructs. At least it was that way when I was a teenager and a young woman. I feel that we had our self esteem eroded away to keep a consumer economy going that plugs into our dissatisfied egos.
What would happen if we embraced our natural state of beauty? What would happen if we bought products that made us feel good? What if we allowed ourselves to be seen in our authentic uniqueness? Maybe we could start a self love revolution. Gala Darling wrote about radical self acceptance. Radical acceptance is accepting and loving every aspect of yourself as is.
I took the photograph above last night on my cell phone after I had put my son to bed. I am not wearing any make up. I am wearing my glasses, a favourite t-shirt and I feel peaceful after a busy day. I feel very beautiful in this photo because I am my natural and authentic self. I am comfortable in my own skin.
It wasn’t until I hit my mid-thirties that I started to feel beautiful in my own skin. I was bullied as a young girl for carrying extra weight. I developed early as a teenager, so I became very self conscious about my curves. There were rejections by men in my twenties for who I thought were prettier women. There were the men who paid compliments to try to get what they wanted.
When you feel uncomfortable in your skin it affects different aspects of your life in negative ways. It resulted in limited success in the career that I pursued. We choose behaviors that can be unhealthy and people who do not support us in being true to ourselves.
As I heal those wounds around rejecting myself then my life begins to shift. I attract new friends and relationships when I am true to my self. I receive new opportunities to use my talents and skills in ways that bring joy to the world around me. I develop a deeper spiritual relationship with God when I am who he created me to be.
Below in the comments please share with me what makes you unique and beautiful.
This week’s oracle card builds upon the healing began during last week’s reflection. Forgiveness of others and yourself is only a starting point in the healing process . “Heal the Ouch” is a card that I drew from The Enchanted Map oracle deck. The soul can be like a compass, when we align it to God, our True North. Meanings attached to this card indicate that this is a time where soothing your body, heart, soul and mind is the focus. If you, dear Reader, resonate with this card then perhaps study the healing arts, so you can develop your natural abilities to restore wellness in others. It can also point to making an oath to do no harm through your thoughts, words and actions. This card may mean that reconciliations are possible in a broken relationship. The theme of healing and connecting to others during the process has been a theme of my life for a long time now. We are both the masterpiece and the work in progress at the same time as we heal.
Floating on a milk sea,
We drift apart for a time,
Not seeing we are in the same bowl,
We spiral to edge of the galaxy,
Perception of small or infinite,
It’s still the same bowl,
Of the Trinity deciding-
Adam and Eve will reunite,
Like two cheerios in a bowl.
Writers draw inspiration from what we see, or listen to in the world around us on a daily basis. Yesterday, my attention was caught by the poem by Kurt Vonnegut called “Be Soft.” It appeared on a friend’s timeline on her Facebook profile, and the poem struck me just because the topic is one that has been on my mind lately. On my friend, Rebecca’s timeline, she posted another meme about how hard it is to care when so many others don’t give a shit in this world. I commented below the meme that it takes more strength to continue to be your caring self in a world that disagrees with you.
Selena Gomez’s song called “Kill Em With Kindness” was trending on YouTube later on that same morning, so I gave it a listen. Her song inspired me to further explore the topic of how society tries to devalue caring and sensitivity.Her lyrics that “the world can be a nasty place, you know it and I know it,” and “we don’t have to fall from grace” speak to the current state of our world. It is very easy for people who don’t even know you to write nasty and negative comments to things posts via social media. She pointed out how words can harm by, “Your eyes are bullets; your mouth’s a gun.” We can make the choice to: “Put out the fire before igniting” which is to make the choice to choose love over our anger.
From childhood, I was told that I needed to toughen up. You’re too sensitive! Bullying reinforced my false beliefs that being sensitive made me different and why I was targeted them. I believed for a very long time that I was unworthy of love and friendship, because I feel things deeply. Who I am was wrong, bad and unloveable. What hurt me as I grew up was how much sensitivity is so misunderstood by our society. How I felt deeply misunderstood and uncomfortable in my own skin.
I spent a lot of years developing defense mechanisms to protect myself from what I felt could be harm to my heart. Bullying and later trauma led me to develop this armour that did not allow much to get through. It affected my ability to develop authentic relationships with friends, family and my intimate partners. I bought into a fear based mentality that my authentic self wouldn’t be acceptable to them if they got too close.
God had other plans for me through a series of soul connections that came into my life at different times. A soul connection is someone who enters your life for the purpose of healing you, awakening you, and sometimes to work on a spiritual calling. They can be a friend, a family member, a coworker and even an intimate partner. They can challenge your to venture out of your comfort zone, reflect what you need to heal within yourself, or encourage you to pursue your own calling.
There are three soul connections who each taught me something very important at different stages in my life. The first one reminded me of who I really am as a soul, what tools I have within me, and began me on the path of healing myself. The second one, my husband, supported me through much of my healing, is my best friend and challenges me on a daily basis. The third one reflected back to me all the things that I need to accept and love about myself, and how the world needs me in my authentic expression as a divine soul.
It took me a very long time to gather the strength and the courage within myself to be my authentic self. My authentic self is a soul who cares deeply about the world around me. Empathy is a trait that this world needs right now. Compassion is the beautiful flower that emerges from the seed of empathy. When we can feel then we can understand one another as part of the human family.
How I love is where my power resides. Love is the only power that is real. It originates from the Creator where we all come from. Once we realize how much we truly have in common, as human beings, change can start for the better in our world.