Ultimate Choice

At one time or another many of us struggle with the question of making the choice to live or to die. Sometimes life will bring you so far down into the abyss that one wonders if you will ever crawl your way back out again. Surviving trauma means that I had to make the choice whether to remain as half alive, or to really live.

The pain was so overwhelming that it took all of my strength, and faith to pick myself back up again. My journey has not been an easy one at times, but I am grateful that I am still breathing. Anne Sexton’s poem “Wanting to Die” reminds me of where I have been. Another poem that I was listening to earlier was “Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night” by Dylan Thomas. Dylan Thomas’ poem speaks of really living life with deep passion, and joy for as long as we are given the gift of our breath.

One can see such a huge contrast when you listen to both of these poets read their work. Earlier this morning their poetry touched me deeply in different ways. One reminded me of when I fell into the horrible pit of despair. The other one more reflects where my journey is at now…my determination to live each day that I have with as much passion as I possibly can. Healing is not an easy process. My tears and my existence have meaning that I don’t always see at this moment, however, a wonderful mosaic is being created out of the broken pieces.

May your own hearts find joy, rest, and peace with life being the truly precious gift that it is.

Namaste,

Amanda

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4 thoughts on “Ultimate Choice

  1. Thank you! It doesn’t feel like you are progressing at times when you are thick deep in the tears and the pain. It took me a long while to see the growth and wisdom that comes out of the suffering. Sometimes a good day was just resting my head on the pillow at night, having a sigh or cry and then going to sleep so I could try again tomorrow. The feeling described in “Ultimate Choice” really happens to so many people that it’s very sad. Life is worth the fight though. 🙂

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