Recently, I finished reading the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge. The books deals with the search that little girls and then women face to answer the questions:

Am I captivating?
Do I have a role to play in the adventure of life?
Am I beautiful?

Reading this book was a life-changing experience for me as I am now at the crossroads of learning to love myself, or to return to old patterns. As little girls we ask our fathers, or our male guardian these questions. If we are met with abandonment (intentional or unintentional), invalidation or abuse then we will struggle through our adolescence, and adult lives. This can lead young women to substance abuse, mental illness, promiscuity, difficulty in maintaining healthy relationships, abusive or inappropriate relationships, impulsive behaviours, social isolation, and even self-harm as ways to sooth these deep wounds. This life theme will repeat with similar experiences until we are ready to break the cycle. It takes courage to make the choice to change your life for the better, and that means being vulnerable yet strong.

Someone saw my inner beauty when I did not, and told me of it out of an act of unconditional love. Their unconditional love was the catalyst to cause me to start my spiritual quest. It led me to return to my former Christian faith after many years of being away. Again spiritual faith is a highly personal thing for each person. I urge whom ever is reading this to find what is best for your own heart. It doesn’t really matter who you call God just that you love him, her or it with a fierce passion.

My own heart is becoming beautiful and whole once again. It’s not easy, but those things in life that we love so passionately rarely don’t come without a fight. It’s my hope that you can find the beauty in Bethany Dilion’s song “Beautiful” and the video.




2 thoughts on “Beautiful?

  1. The sum of all brokenness we experience in life is being born separate from God. It is our path to find a way back to him. When in brokenness we surrender we are given the gift of grace and healing and saving, justified. So many people look for a formula for healing but end up not getting very far, for man’s wisdom is not very powerul at all. It really is as easy and as hard (for those with proud hearts determined) to find all the healing from a loving heavenly Father and the Lordship of Christ Jesus

  2. Earlier today I was thinking on the same subject. The healing I experienced earlier on did not have long lasting results, because it was very much motivated by trying to fix myself. Inner strength is fine yet it only gets one so far. Human beings NEED God in what ever form they choose to worship him, her or it. We never were separated from God, or even had to find our way back Home. It was an illusion that we ever were separated from Him. You look outside your door, or sit quietly to listen to your heart and he’s always there. It’s more a case of being awake to that awareness of his presence.

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