Messiness of Being Myself

Alanis Morissette’s song “Not as We” gave me chills up my shine as I listened to it earlier today. The song hearkens back to those times when I felt really alone and vulnerable. It is about starting over again and being at day one when you begin the journey to recovery.

Post traumatic stress disorder and any mental illness isolates the person living with it. The feeling of isolation can strip self-esteem down to feeling so vulnerable it is like walking around naked in a public place. I continue to get better by being stubborn. I feigned brave when I knew nothing else at the time. Courage is knowing when to be vulnerable and when to be guarded.

I am in the slow process of accepting and loving myself. Some aspects take much longer to accept then others do. Transformation takes time for if one rushes the process then you can destroy the butterfly inside. This spoils something that could be worth the wait.

Amanda

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9 thoughts on “Messiness of Being Myself

      1. I wanted to ask first. 🙂

        Thank you.

        I want to reference your page as well. You have a weight with words that I believe people should know about…. I can’t promise much traffic, but I truly love your writing!

        Always looking forward to your next post!
        😀

      2. You’re welcome and thank you for your support of my writing. You may reference my page if you would like to do so. I have a little bit of a cold right now so it may be a few days before I post any more writing. I have been really overwhelmed by the community here who follows my writing as well as the work that I read of others. WordPress has a lot of untapped talent that can seriously make some great change in the world. 🙂

    1. Sometimes it would be lovely if the process wasn’t so slow and painful at times. A friend sent me an excerpt from Zorba the Greek about killing a butterfly by trying to get it to come out of the cocoon too quickly. The story really stuck in my mind as it’s a powerful image.

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