Alanis Morissette’s song “Not as We” gave me chills up my shine as I listened to it earlier today. The song hearkens back to those times when I felt really alone and vulnerable. It is about starting over again and being at day one when you begin the journey to recovery.
Post traumatic stress disorder and any mental illness isolates the person living with it. The feeling of isolation can strip self-esteem down to feeling so vulnerable it is like walking around naked in a public place. I continue to get better by being stubborn. I feigned brave when I knew nothing else at the time. Courage is knowing when to be vulnerable and when to be guarded.
I am in the slow process of accepting and loving myself. Some aspects take much longer to accept then others do. Transformation takes time for if one rushes the process then you can destroy the butterfly inside. This spoils something that could be worth the wait.