The past couple of days I was occupied with working on writing my life experiences down. The biographical story is the first stage to doing training to assist in a workshop presented to healthcare professionals on how to combat stigma against the mentally ill in emergency rooms and other healthcare services.
Writing memoirs brings up emotions that I thought I had dealt with, or forgotten about. One of these memories was the first relationship that I had after the sexual assault. It started off as passionate and enjoyable then eventually rotted to abusive behaviours. An abuser can seem sensitive, charming and passionate at first.
Each relationship since was a mixture of sweet and bitter. Some left a really bad taste in my mouth. My early experiences have made me wary of any partner who displays strong passion towards me. Over time I am hoping to trust my intuition more when my partner displays strong feelings for me. One thing I learned over the years was how you have to sometimes love yourself enough to walk away from destructive situations.