Since I arrived home from the hospital I have struggled to adjust to motherhood. It is not an easy transition for many women. There is judgement attached to when a mother expresses anything other than joy after she has given birth.
Sleep deprivation, hormones, and the gap between expectations of what motherhood will be like versus the reality can bring on postpartum depression or make it worse. If one has a history of mental illness then the likelihood of developing it can be greater.
Alanis Morrissette talks about her own struggle with postpartum depression also referred to as the “baby blues” in this interview to raise awareness. I am writing about the topic on this blog for similar reasons as even though I was aware that something didn’t feel quite right. I really didn’t feel like myself when I came home from the hospital. It is actually difficult for me to describe something that felt so raw emotionally.
It took me a while before I was willing to speak to anyone about it, because of societal attitudes towards those who admit that motherhood is not any easy adjustment for everyone. Long term it would do worse harm to myself and to my son to not deal with it.