White Knuckled

Tension building…building…building…

Opposite polarities colliding into each other,

Our mouths are hungry to taste,

May I get lost in you for a while?

Crashing waves of pleasure sending me into shock,

Body shivering; not from the cold.

White knuckled and pale my hand clings to yours,

It feels like I’m dying,

Am I dying?

Looking at you in the moment,

I know that I have.

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Numbering Stars

Too lost in your soulful eyes

as I carefully turn rice paper pages

wearing cotton gloves so oils don’t smear

~

A story old as uncharted stars

am I really yours to possess?

deciphering an ancient language using soul’s Rosetta Stone

~

Exploration: caress your body’s nooks and crannies

hands trace transcendental trail

I am on a sacred mission

~

Inner knowing that one will surrender

to the higher law

whether you or I are above or below

~

Catch me as I fall into you

our passion play: as two merge into one

our souls numbering stars.

(c) Amanda Wilson 2013

How I Wish

How I Wish

It was more than just a dream,

to recline in those arms of yours,

to believe for a briefest moment,

love can last forever.

~~~~

The two souls calling to each other,

not blocked by distance or obstacles,

even though you aren’t mine,

your soul has a claim on my heart.

~~~~

A memory of two bodies entwined together,

your caress moving from hair downwards

finer than Japanese silk,

so gentle yet igniting something thought dying.

~~~~

Around you my heart and soul glows,

a light that cannot be hidden,

you have a bright beacon,

one you haven’t even seen yet.

~~~~

How I wish that I could hold

a mirror before you,

so you could gaze at your own reflection,

seeing all that I see in you.

(c) Amanda Wilson 2013

Wild Fires

in the spaces in between our hearts

it continues to rage

despite time and distance

tended as gentle embers when apart

needing little kindling to burst alight

doesn’t require a glance or touch to spark

your kisses or caresses melt me down

like metal transformed into molten liquid

wild fires can bring such devastation in their wake

yet the heat of fire opens up pine cones, seeding the future

wild fire passion purifying my heart’s core love

 

(c) Amanda Wilson 2013

 

 

Bitter and Sweet

The past couple of days I was occupied with working on writing my life experiences down. The biographical story is the first stage to doing training to assist in a workshop presented to healthcare professionals on how to combat stigma against the mentally ill in emergency rooms and other healthcare services.

Writing memoirs brings up emotions that I thought I had dealt with, or forgotten about. One of these memories was the first relationship that I had after the sexual assault. It started off as passionate and enjoyable then eventually rotted to abusive behaviours. An abuser can seem sensitive, charming and passionate at first.

Each relationship since was a mixture of sweet and bitter. Some left a really bad taste in my mouth. My early experiences have made me wary of any partner who displays strong passion towards me. Over time I am hoping to trust my intuition more when my partner displays strong feelings for me. One thing I learned over the years was how you have to sometimes love yourself enough to walk away from destructive situations.

Amanda

Heart and Soul

Heart and Soul

push me gently against the wall

kiss me as if you are last breath

scrambling for life

wounded soldier journeying home

seeking peace from waking nightmares

two loving eyes: blue soul windows

seeing my heart and soul

turn your key in my lock

joining two into one

sanctuary for heart and soul

(c) Amanda Wilson 2012

Fire in the Belly

Flashdance (1983) was a film that inspired me when I was a child. This is the official music video for Irene Cara’s song “What a Feeling.” Flashdance is about a young woman, Alex, who works as a welder by day, and dancer at a club at night. The movie tells the story of her journey from the desire to become a dancer right up to her chance to turn that dream into a reality.

As a small child, I danced along to the song in my parents’ livingroom. I lost myself in the experience of the music. My prior post “Singing Like No One Hears” was actually based on events earlier this evening. I was in a car with a bunch of girlfriends then began to sing off-key to “Footloose.” My friends started to sing along with me in the spirit of fun.

When we are so small the world is so very large and full of wonderful possibilities. We do not allow anyone to tell us who we are. Rather we lose ourselves in the joy of being our authentic self in the present. Now I enjoy dancing, but that is not what lights the fire in my belly. What gets you really excited? What would you do every day of your life if you could?

Writing for me has been my therapy, and also my deepest passion. The written word is what lights the fire in my belly. Language is how I express my perspective on the world as well as my place within it. Recently, I submitted some of my poems to a magazine. Soon I will be sending off more of my work to other publications to see who bites. Magazines and literary journals don’t require you to have an agent, so I thought this would be the best place to begin.

Life is too short to leave what fires your belly for another day. Any thoughts on what you feel really passionate about?

Namaste,

Amanda